Drifting Apart? Steps to Reconnect
Everything seems fine. Sort of.
Nothing really seems wrong between you. Right?
Except, you don’t really talk about much.
Or touch…You remember being closer. But you really don’t remember how things between you got so distant and isolating.
It feels as if you are just sort of floating along. Riding the currents of life, work, chores, kids, and responsibilities.
But, maybe, what you thought was drifting along is really drifting apart?
Before your lives become any more separate, maybe you need to wake up and focus on things that can help you reconnect.
Here are some steps to reconnect that may work for you:
Press the ‘reset’ button on your priorities.
Restore your relationship to the primary place in your life.
It is important to put your spouse or partner first. Leave no doubt. Make sure your partner knows.
Take pleasure in being there for your partner when he or she calls.
Return to “we” thinking and working in partnership.
Schedule time together. Then schedule some more.
Your relationship needs time and space to flourish.
Schedule couple time by marking it on the calendar.
Commit to keeping friends, family, work, and Netflix from crowding out your relationship time.
Diligently plan your dates, getaways, and quiet moments together, before you plan anything else.
Make a point to touch each other.
Play a little before you get out of bed.
Kiss for just a beat longer on your way out the door.
It’s hard not to feel close when you are close.
Draw each other’s attention physically.
Show that you want to be there for each other.
Make the routine romantic.
Experience life with each other instead of around each other.
Life can often seem as if it is full of chores, errands, and demands.
Reframe them. Do them together. Make them special.
Perhaps put candles on the dinner table, leave love notes the windshield, or kiss in the laundry room.
Build in some relationship rituals.
Make loving connection a habit.
Start with a bedtime routine or a midday call.
Turn off the TV and go to bed together at night.
Check in from work with “love you” calls or silly text.
Connect regularly to let your partner know that your love is appreciated and secure.
Highlight your history.
You didn’t get this far without some really good times.
Revisit the early days of your relationship.
Where did you eat, drink coffee, dance?
Visit them and reminisce.
Remember that your lives are happily intertwined in so many ways.
All work and no play is…boring.
Your partner wants to laugh with you, play with you.
Build a little fun into your busy week.
Plan to do the things that you both enjoy and propose some new adventures.
Support and Celebrate each other.
Get back in your partners corner. Find out what matters most to him or her. Help each other build your dreams. No one can support you and your partner better than the two of you. Cheer your successs.
You’re a team.
Take intimacy off the back burner.
Turn up the heat and stir up some passion.
Clear the laundry off the bed and forget the iPad.
Run a bath. Light the candles.
Lavish each other with loving attention.
Don’t let anything keep you from being as close as you want to be.
Resolve. Forgive. Listen.
Communicate or call a counselor if you’re stuck.
Be accountable, let them know when you make a mistake. Say, “I love you.”
Respect and honor your partner’s heart and mind.
Every couple risks the possibility of drifting apart. Hold on to each other and keep your partnership afloat.
Commit to moving through life together.